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CULTIVATING A PURITY MINDSET

Writer: J. HenryJ. Henry

Updated: Dec 17, 2024

𝑬𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉!


Next month I'll be attending my first book club event. I will have the opportunity to read excerpts and have open discussions with a group of women who read fiction romance novel, "Dismantled Hearts." As I prepare, I had to skim through the book to see what parts I wanted to discuss the most.


To start, there's one paragraph that stood out to me. Excerpt from Chapter title: Is It Real? "After her last major heartbreak and the minor relationships that came after it, she wanted to do things differently the next time she got into a real relationship. She didn’t want to shack up and wanted to wait until marriage for sex. Yet, when Derek entered the picture, she broke those vows to herself and to God. She looked back on her past relationships and realized she was repeating the same trend. Her love for Derek was there but not in the way she wanted -- all because she didn’t follow her standards from the start."


This part of the book is so relatable (at least for me it is) and I want women (and even men) to be open to hearing me out on this! Purity is not outdated! If I'm being honest, abstaining from sex until marriage was a struggle area for me. I used to give every other part of my life to God but this area. Sometime back, I made a vow to God that I would purify my body and then I turned around and broke my vow to him once again. I mean we are sexual beings that do have needs. That was my thought process at the time! That was until I had an unsettling experience in my last relationship that forced me to surrender to God and make a vow to him once again!


As I continued to grow my relationship with God, I began to see my worth more and I couldn't just give my body away to any man without God's stamp of approval, meaning marriage. I began looking at my body as a sacred temple and started valuing myself the way God wanted me to. Truthfully, getting to this place "was" a struggle especially when dealing with society norms and what others thought of me because I decided to go against the grain. I get it, in a sex crazed world it's not common to see purity anymore.


When I look back at the excerpt above, it made me think about the characters relationship. They went through so much turmoil and I began to wonder if things could've gone differently if she would've followed her standards from the start. Did the character create her own story of unnecessary hurt and pain? I wrote the book and I even had to think about this.


To anyone reading, especially women, I want you to start seeing yourself the way God sees you. Your body is your highest asset and to cheapen yourself for men who won't marry you, will ghost you, keep you in a side chick position is beneath you. Yes, I get it you have needs and don't mind as long as you're getting yours but if you're truly being honest, this isn't what you really want. If you're in a relationship and want to be married, boundaries have to be put into place. Embracing purity and reclaiming your self worth can take place no matter your relationship status!


Making a vow to God in this area requires sacrifice. It won't be easy starting out, but as you grow you will learn how to manage, and the struggle won't be as hard. This is when real self-discipline comes into play, which will serve a purpose for other areas in your life. If you've already started this journey, keep going strong. Your faithfulness will be rewarded in due time. It's okay to love sex, but getting to a place where you love God more is commendable. You will eventually reach a level of freedom in yourself that most won't get to and when the time does come for you to marry the right one and if your spouse is on the same journey you will encounter sacred sex; a level of spiritual intimacy, true pleasure, sexual fulfillment and a soul-deep bond that is by God's design; creating a truly powerful experience. Until then, access should be denied!


Until next time!


- Authoress J. Henry, XOXO

 

𝑶𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈.

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