𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒗𝒂𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔
In fiction romance novel "𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠," there's a character who outwardly appears confident, but beneath the surface, she compromises her self-worth in more ways than one leading to a sense of desperation, which became apparent to everyone she encountered. She had internal issues that needed healing, and this is not just a fictional scenario—many people in real life face similar struggles. When the unhealed version of oneself comes to the surface, after a while, it's impossible to hide. It shows up in your actions, how you talk and how you carry yourself. You're exposed just by being you. Covering unprocessed emotions and trauma with a band-aid can have damaging consequences. Seeking God and even therapy is a starting point and the beginning of a healing journey. It's during this process that one begins to recognize their self-worth and value themselves more.
When God convicted me
A few years into my Christian journey, the Lord began convicting me of many things. The main thing was sex. I began feeling uncomfortable with giving my body away in meaningless relationships where there was no real end goal. With every sexual encounter, I felt more and more convicted until I finally decided to abstain from sex and take my walk with Christ more seriously. I did good for a while, but then I fell off the bandwagon. The conviction hit me even harder that time, and I broke down, making a promise to God that I would abstain until He sent me a relationship that was truly from Him. I honestly thought I would only have to wait a few months, maybe a year and then God would show up for me in this area. But that was not the case. I never imagined I would be waiting years for this relationship I prayed for so long ago. At one point, I felt like I had been deceived. If I had known the timeline in advance, I probably would have never made this promise. I'm just being honest.
Recognizing my own self-worth
As time passed, I came to accept that love might not be in the cards for me and embraced my singleness. In fact, I started to enjoy it. Then one day God spoke to me and told me to prepare for marriage. Not only did He speak, but He also instructed me to sign up for a mentorship program that my church was offering. To be real, I hadn't asked God for marriage. It wasn't something I prayed about; I just wanted a good relationship with a good man—that's all I was asking for. But God wanted more for me. So, I signed up for the "Wives In Training" program and was connected with a mentor.
Let me tell you, this woman had her work cut out for her. My first comment was, "The only reason I'm here is because God made me." She looked at me like, "Alrighty then." For the first year of the program, I was dealing with a lot in my personal life, so the timing just didn't seem right, and I kept postponing our meetings. But she was patient with me. Being in this program was not my idea. I had a distorted view of marriage. I looked at it as boring, not having freedom, giving up my lifestyle and also taking on someone else's burdens. I was going through a lot and the thought of me dealing with my own problems while also taking on someone else's just didn't seem like a good trade-off. Plus, I didn’t grow up around marriage, so how could I desire something I barely saw? I judged based on what was in the media and looked at marriage as a joke that people didn't respect or take seriously anymore.
Eventually, I gave in and allowed myself to explore the journey. We started out dealing with me and what was beneath the surface. I was vulnerable, sharing parts of my life that I had kept tucked away and hadn't even brought to God, but of course he knew. After years of mentoring and confronting my fears and insecurities I eventually started to see marriage through a different lens, viewing myself as a wife and appreciating the idea of marriage in a new light. The program officially lasted a year, but we decided to keep the mentorship—now friendship—going, and I've been in preparation on how to be a Godly wife ever since.
Through my decision to abstain from sex, the process of peeling back layers in the mentorship program, and my ongoing relationship with Christ, my self-worth and sense of value have increased so much. I now see myself in God's image, and any man who enters my life must meet God's standards; otherwise, I won’t give him the time of day. It’s not that I believe I'm better than anyone or have a superiority complex, but when you truly follow God's plan for your life and accept what He says about you, you won’t settle for less than you deserve in any aspect of your life.
Final Thoughts
If you're struggling with recognizing your self-worth, whether in a romantic relationship, friendship, career, or elsewhere—it's time to make a change today. You won't be able to achieve all you want in life while staying on the same path. The first step is to acknowledge where you are. If you don't envision more for yourself than your current situation, making changes will be difficult. Take a moment to assess every area of your life. The second step is to bring your feelings to God. He wants to hear from you, and in response, He will reveal His will for your life and guide you on the right path. Acknowledging your situation and seeking God’s guidance is just the beginning—if you stay on the sidelines, it won't help. The third step is to take action. This is where obedience comes into play. Quiet your inner thoughts, and you'll start to hear God's instructions on what to do next. Take one step at a time, and soon you'll find yourself aligned with God's will, and your self-worth will no longer take a back seat.
Until next time!
- Authoress J. Henry, XOXO
𝑶𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚, 𝒇𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈.
Most readers finish the book in an average of 2 days. Great book for men to read too. 📖🕐
Also available on Amazon Kindle
𝑰𝒏 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒗𝒂𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏?
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